I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
