So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Randomize