ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
