she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
