I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
