OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Also, beer. Big fan.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
