Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
