do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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