Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
third nipple confirmed
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
