do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
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