hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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