the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
