I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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