all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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