You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
This can only be settled by a dance off.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize