I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
