worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
