On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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