So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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