'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
