YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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