I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
