hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
My life is pants optional.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize