Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
