need another drink. this is the easiest way
I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize
