Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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