You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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