I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
