Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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