How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
