meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Randomize