that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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