I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I just gargled with NyQuil
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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