doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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