just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
