dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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