And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
