his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
