I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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