After last night, I could never be a politician.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
