I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize