People with herpes should wear stickers.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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