but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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