dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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