My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
