dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
