For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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