i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Houston, we have a blender
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
