Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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