her vagine was all disorganized.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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