Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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