I skipped work to stalk him.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize