shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
