Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
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