Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
