i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Randomize
