But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I have fence marks all over my body
Randomize
