i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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