i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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