She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
