You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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